It has been a really weird morning. The sun has refused to come up, Domino is going crazy and I have this lingering feeling that someone is watching me. The paranoia is a result of my Seasonal Affective Disorder; it happens every time the sky turns dark, or rain falls to the earth. So in my crazed and paranoid state, I decided to rip apart my apartment. In doing so, I stumbled upon an old thumb drive, which had a basic outline of my memoir. I spent the next hour tweaking and expanding the intro. I present to you, a possible beginning to my memoir on my experience with Manic Depressive Illness:
It was just another average day in May 2009.I was standing in the bathroom of a US Congressman’s district office, looking curiously into the vanity mirror. I was holding a pocket knife in my right hand and in my left, a paper towel containing finely crushed Oxycodone. Gently placing the towel onto the granite countertop, I wiped off the pocket knife on my pants and stored it in one of my pockets. I contemplated how I was going to ingest the white/blue powder before me. Snorting it would mean an instant high, one that would over take my body in crushing ecstasy. But if I ingested it, my mind and body would be enveloped in warmth, security and happiness for most of the morning and early afternoon.
Mind made up, I ripped off a small piece of the paper towel and carefully poured the white/blue powder onto it. Licking the residual powder, I tossed away the useless towel and turned my attention back to the mound in front of me. Carefully pulling up all of the corners, I encapsulated the fine powder in my makeshift parachute and swallowed it before I could question my actions. Now complete, I washed my hands and face, turned off the light and exited the bathroom. As I passed his office, I greeted Congressman X, who was lounging in a cavernous office. A smile crept across my face as my fingers began to tingle and mind cloud. I continued walking down the corridor and eventually took my place at the front desk, answering phone calls and inputting data as my mind slowly descended into euphoric bliss.
~
“How could a nice Jewish boy have gotten himself mixed up into drugs?” My friend asked me as we munched on breakfast at a local Long Beach café. Surrounding by a growing collection of drunken patrons, who were stumbling into the Shoreline Café after a long night of drinking, I tried to think about how to answer.
“It is not that easy to explain,” I responded.
“Well you could try. I told you about my marital problems and struggles with suicide. The least you could do is talk to me,” Janet stared directly into my eyes with an intensity that unnerved me.
“All right, all right. Just stop looking at me like that.”
A smile crept along her face. Knowing that she had won, she picked up a half eaten fried zucchini and began twirling it in her fingers before placing it in her mouth.
“Well the story about the US Congressman was real. I actually did take Oxy in his bathroom. It was when I was an intern for his district office and involved with Republican politics.”
“That’s right you had mentioned you worked with the Republicans.” Janet contemplated my former line of work.
“I did and for most of that period I was high on some sort of opiate. Standing outside of markets I would be talking to people about voter registration and how it was important to take an interest in the political process and they would not even realize I was high on soma and vicodin.” Janet shook her head, not responding just looking at me.
“But to understand how I ended up addicted to pills and working for the Republican Party, I need to give you some back story, this might take awhile. Do you still want hear this?”
“Well im still here aren’t I?” Janet responded almost immediately “I’ve got all night. You know I usually don’t go to bed until 5am.”
A glass shattered to the floor somewhere behind us. Turning towards the back I saw a drunken woman trying to climb desperately up the wall.
“This is the perfect setting. Well here goes nothing. My parents had just moved…[end text]
So there you have it a possible intro to my memoir. My goal is to continue expanding the text and while posting various chunks of it onto my blog.
I hope everyone is enjoying there Sunday…..Domino and I would love to wish mothers everywhere -Happy Mother’s Day 
Dave.
Ps. If you have twitter (or are interested in twitter) you can follow me at @david_a_stein or friend me on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thedavidastein
Posted in
Bipolar Disorder,
Manic Depressive Illness,
Mental Health and tagged
addiction,
Bipolar Disorder,
Depression,
Manic Depressive Illness,
Mental Health,
Oxycodone,
Paranoia,
Psychophobia,
sanity,
Seasonal affective disorder,
self-medication,
Struggling with the Elephant in the Room
