Continuing the Medication Debate: An Examination of Bob Fiddaman’s Book on The Seroxat Scandal (Guest Post)

In an effort to continue our dialogue on medications, I have decided to post this book review. This does not mean I am for or against medications, but rather I am providing you with another chance for discussion. Today’s guest post comes from reader Sheila who writes the blog  Prozac Withdrawal (a blog on her personal struggle with antidepressants). Throughout the book review, Sheila struggles with the positives and negatives of medication- the same struggle all patients go through. The following is her book review:

I’ve been following Seroxat Sufferers Stand Up and Be Counted! For a little while and I cottoned onto the fact that the author, Bob had written the book “The Evidence, However, Is Clear” so I sent off for it and read it in one day, that’s pretty fast for me nowadays.

Bob was prescribed Seroxat (an SSRI in the same family as Prozac/Lustral) for depression due to work related problems, what followed was a journey that took him through a tapering process of, what he believes to be, a highly addictive antidepressant.  Following almost two years of withdrawal, Fiddaman’s new battle with the manufacturer of the drug (GlaxoSmithKline) and the UK Medicines Regulator (MHRA) took him on a more frustrating journey than he could ever have imagined. (This bit is from the blurb on the back of the book). I understand from Bob’s website/blog/book that he is an activist and winner of two Human Rights Awards and lives in a council flat in Birmingham.

I am really so much in awe of Bob and I learned a lot from his book, about how the pharmaceutical industry has cynically marketed SSRI’s, how the MHRA is hand in glove with the manufacturers of SSRI’s (and other drugs) and not detached as it should be.  How they have suppressed information that these drugs are extremely difficult to get off of, and kept the medical profession in the dark about how to get people off SSRI’s properly. I learned how the drug companies peddled the myth of a “Chemical Imbalance in the Brain” which I fell for and believed myself until the penny slowly dropped after 10 years of failure to get myself off Lustral.  It’s a shocking read but I wasn’t surprised by anything I read, I’d kind of realised for myself a long while ago that someone must be making a lot money out of all these people who struggle to get off SSRI’s and believe they have a chemical imbalance.

Where I struggle is that I know a lot of people who have benefited from antidepressants as well and feel they have improved their quality of life, I find myself avoiding discussion forums on mental health on certain women’s web sites now for fear of upsetting people who are on SSRI’s with what I now know. I don’t want to cause additional depression and anxiety for people who are already depressed and anxious and probably wouldn’t want to listen anyway.

What I really have a problem with is that doctors are not presenting patients with the full facts about SSRI’s before prescribing them like smarties.  The first time I had Post Natal Depression I soldiered on without drugs, I really struggled, and it took me  a good year to really come out the other side, I’m glad I did though and I’m glad I didn’t go into a second pregnancy  on SSRI’s and the worry about the effect on my second baby. After I gave birth the second time I thought I had got away with it, but then I felt the blackness wash over me soon after, worse than the first time.  This time I decided I wasn’t going to keep it to myself, I was going to fess up, I told Peter and my health visitor, together we went to talk to the doctor, the doctor suggested antidepressants, I was desperate but my overriding concern was that I would be addicted and that was the first question I asked, I was reassured that no these were a fairly new class of drug and they were not addictive…..the rest is history.

I often wonder, if my doctor had said, there is a drug that can help you feel better, but they do have some side effects, they can make you feel numb, if you stop them suddenly or come off too fast they can make you feel desperate and suicidal, they can be extremely difficult to get off and worse case scenario it could take you as long as 3-5 years to taper off them, I wonder what I would have decided then? I wonder what a lot of other people would decide?

~

Please use the comment section for discussions on this book review as well as the medication debate. Remember, please be civil and respect everyone’s comments and enjoy the discussion.

I hope you are all well,

Dave.

Manic Depressive Illness- Will Seroquel be the Death of Me? (Horrible Side-Effects, but Positive Outcome)

Today’s post is an examination of my relationship with Seroquel (it’s a follow up/sequel to my last post). About six months after I was diagnosed with manic depressive illness, my new psychiatrist decided it was time to put me on a “miracle d\rug.” He was convinced that this particular medication was a cure-all for most mental disorders. In fact, he had a backroom filled with samples- he later told me that AstraZeneca would take him out to lunch once a month and provide him with an infinite amount of Seroquel samples.

It was my first visit to the new psychiatrist (My previous psychiatrist was horrible, he treated me like shit and he constantly put me on different meds to see how I would react, I felt like a lab rat) and I was nervous. The receptionist greeted me, took my credit card and told me to take a seat in the lobby. The office was a refurbished house- it was comfortable, with leather chairs and oil paintings hanging on the walls. This was not a typical doctor’s office. A few minutes later, a tall elderly man walked through the front door. He looked in pain; his neck was covered in a brace and hands were shaking. I thought he was another patient. Instead of sitting down in the lobby, he unlocked an office door, walked and slammed it shut. It was all very confusing…

…To save you from the boring details of my first psych visit, I’m going to fast forward a bit:

(http://www.real-selfhelp.org)

We talked for almost an hour, with Dr. M making various comments and observations about my life story. Unlike my previous psych, who prescribed me a med cocktail within the first five minutes of our session, Dr. M genuinely cared about my mental health. When it came time to change my meds, I was confident in Dr. M’s ability as a psych. At that time I was only taking 150mg of Zoloft, unfortunately I was extremely paranoid (I would later find out that one of the side-effects of Zoloft is increased mania and paranoia). Instead of taking me off Zoloft, D.r M decided to add a new drug: Tegretol. The sole purpose of the Tegretol was to combat the Zoloft created paranoia. We ended our session…

The next few days were hell. Although the paranoia decreased, I was unable to sleep and I had this feeling that a depressive episode was about to begin. I was scared. I called Dr. M’s office and demanded that I get an appointment.

At 1pm the next day, I found myself back in Dr. M’s office. He asked me how I was doing and I started to fall apart- I was frustrated, depressed, manic and scared (I suffer from mixed episodes). But more importantly I was vulnerable. Dr. M started telling me about this miracle drug that most of patients were on. It was called Seroquel. There was a caveat- patients who took Seroquel had the potential to develop various side-effects (according to Dr. M, Seroquel had not been on the market long enough to determine its side-effects. He furthered this by stated that  it might be a few decades before we know the total impact Seroquel has on a patient’s life).

I was so desperate to improve my mental health, that I agreed to start taking Seroquel. Dr. M provided me with a brown bag of samples and instructed me to take 50mg each night before I go to bed. At first, I didn’t feel different. However, as the week progressed, the mania and the depression began to dissipate. In fact, I started enjoying life again. Dr. M was right.

A few weeks past and my mental health continued to improve. The only downside was that my weight started to increase…another month went by and I started to get depressed again. What was happening, I thought everything was finally working out? Oh man, I really don’t want to be depressed, I hate being depressed. Why does life have to fuck me over sometimes?  I made a new appointment with Dr. M. Instead of taking me off Seroquel, Dr. M increased my dosage to 100mg…

Present Day:

I’m currently taking 900mg of Seroquel a night (when I was first put on Seroquel, Dr. M explained that dosage limit for Seroquel was around 1400mg. I’m really scared that one day I will be at that dosage level). It still is an amazing drug, as it’s the only thing keeping my mind stable. However, I’ve gained almost 70 pounds since starting Seroquel. On top of that I have a high risk of developing Tardive Dyskinesia, Diabetes as well as other unknown side-effects.

The question is why am I  still taking Seroquel? Why would I willingly take a drug that has so many horrible side-effects? Because it’s the only thing keeping me sane at the moment. Although I still have manic/depressive episodes, they are not as severe as they were 3 years ago. I’m also able to sleep, as my thoughts have stopped racing.

You might think I’m crazy to do this; however, I want to try and enjoy my life…

I hope everyone is having a great Monday Evening.

Stay Strong.

Dave.

Manic Depressive Illness: When Withdrawal and Paranoia Combine-Or, Why It’s Impossible to Quit Zoloft

My hands were shaking, my face was pale and I could feel the bile coming up my throat. It was my first day on the job as a limo driver and I was suffering from withdrawals. I looked like a complete mess and I could barely concentrate- it took all of my energy to keep myself from vomiting all over the place. The reason I was going through withdrawals, was that my GP decided I needed to reduce my Zoloft intake by 100mg (at the time I was taking 250mg of Zoloft a day). Unfortunately, I was never informed that Zoloft was addictive. In fact, when the GP first prescribed me Zoloft (for depression, OCD and agoraphobia-this was way before I was diagnosed with Manic Depressive Illness, so instead of seeking help from psychologist, I turned to my family’s doctor for help) she adamantly stated that it was not addictive. I was desperate for help, so I blindly accepted the doctor’s claim.

That was a mistake.

Instead of spending a few minutes researching the side-effects of Zoloft, I relied on a family doctor to determine what was best for my mental health. It’s been over three years since I started Zoloft- I’ve tried to quit a couple of times, however, the withdrawals are too intense (I was addicted to oxycodone for awhile, and that withdrawal paled in comparison to the Zoloft withdrawal).

I’m stuck.

That is all I can write at the moment. I want to end this post with a question and possible discussion: How many of you have experienced medication withdrawals (or other potentially harmful medication experiences) and how has that impacted your life?

Stay Strong!

Dave.

Death, Life and Manic Episodes

Currently I am going through a manic episode. I’ve had four cups of coffee and my mind won’t stop racing. On top of that I have this growing paranoia that somebody 0r something is out to get me. Unfortunately, this is a typical manic episode for me- the paranoia, the coffee drinking, the racing thoughts and the ideas of death. I know I didn’t say anything about death, but when I become manic I become obsessed with the idea of death, both as a corporeal being as well as an escape from reality.

That is why manic episodes scare me so much, I tend to forget what is real and what is not. At the moment I cannot stop my mind from thinking. My brain is on auto-pilot and the only thing keeping me grounded is the fact that my parents are visiting today. But I can’t even sit still right now. It’s like I am back on abilify, struggling with brain tremors and extreme paranoia. Hopefully my mind calms down, or at least the paranoia goes away.

I have to cut this post short, my parents are here.

In my next post I will be going deeper into my experience with manic episodes, with an ultimate goal of creating a series of posts on what its like to be Manic-Depressive.

Dave.

Manic Depressive Illness- The Problem with Accurate Diagnosis

A little over a year ago my life changed. After going through numerous mental breakdowns (please see my previous post, for a detailed description of my various mental breakdowns, that led me to quit all of my jobs and give up on life) I finally decided it was time to seek medical/professional help. With the support of my parents I began looking for a psychiatrist as well as a therapist. It didn’t take long for me to find a psych who would accept my insurance and before I knew it I had an appointment (At the time I did not realize how bad/shoddy/ignorant this psychiatrist was. Had I done some research, I would have avoided the pain I was about to go through. The problem was that I was very manic and obsessively determined to fix my “problem.” In doing so, I hastily found a psychiatrist without the prober due diligence).

About a week later I went to my first psychiatrist appointment. The office building was located in an upscale area of Long Beach. The lounge was large- filled with numerous patients, desks covered in magazines, cheap art  and worn-out chairs. I signed in and took a seat in the back of the lounge. Thirty minutes passed and still had not  been called. Impatient I walked over to the receptionist  desk and asked if the psych was still in. I was informed that Dr. A was still in a session with another patient and would be with me shortly.

 

Two hours later I was finally allowed to see the psych. His office was in the back of the building and it was filled with artifacts from around the world. Dr. A sat behind a large mahogany desk and he was covered in gold and platinum jewelry. He told me to sit down and informed me that he was the only psych in the area who could diagnose a patient in less than five minutes. (I know this might sound ludicrous, but this actually happened to me. He was a very sleazy man. Not only did he have a large platinum and diamond cross around his neck, but he also wore a rolex and numerous gem rings. On top of that he was ignorant and made numerous comments that degraded people with Bipolar Disorder). And he was right, he diagnosed me with Bipolar Disorder the moment I began describing my symptoms. I was put on depakote, however, that did not work as it made me insanly depressed. Then I was put on Abilify which lasted all of three days, but those three days were hell as I could not sit still or concentrate as I was constantly overcome with tremors. Next I was put on tegretol (oh and another thing, he was never available when I called his office. I always had to leave a message with his secretary. And it was always his secretary who would call back with an answer, as Dr. A was too busy to call me personally) and that seemed to work. However, as the week progressed I started to become very manic and very depressed. I began to realize that Dr. A was not the best psychiatrist for me, so I stopped seeing him. This was a very hard decision for me, as I am usually very scared of change as well as mortified by other people’s response to my actions (will I offend the psych if I no longer see him).

I am glad that I was able to break free from this psych and move on to someone new. It was around this time that I had started seeing a therapist and he suggested a psych that was highly regarded in the area. My therapist was right, the psych was amazing and within two weeks we both were able to workout a med cocktail that balanced my mind. I am still seeing this psych, as he is very empathetic and knowledgeable.

One problem still exists: my diagnosis.

To this day I am considered Un-catogorized Bipolar, with Rapid Cycling, Mixed Episodes, OCD and a mild form of agoraphobia. No one has been able to determine my exact diagnosis which scares me.

Well that is all for now,

Dave.